Friday, August 27, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
first month anniversary :D ...
celebrate first month anniversary with my bibi today !!! :D ... we went changi airport and its the first time i see bibi wear what she wore ... woooo love it ^^ ... we go changi airport walk walk see see ... spend the day together :D ... and she made for me a card !!! ... i was so surprised O.o ... i totally didn't expect that ... some pictures ... muuuuuuuuacks bibi~ <3 ,,, happy first monthsary !!!! ...
the contents of the card is for me to know only :p ...
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
a day out ...
ahhhh went out with bibi and it was fun ... always fun ... her blogs says all :X ... resort world is stilllllllll okay bah ... finally got the member card after dunno howwwww long -_- ...
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
a trip to malacca ...
his time is grandmother bday ... we reached malacca around 12+ then go to a new shopping center ... the shopping center damn big !!! ... can fight with vivo sia ... then we ate herbal meal for lunch O.o ... the proportion is too much !!! ... crazy ppl -_- ... some pics of that place that we ate ...
the menu ...
the place ...
found this interesting leaf ...
then next up is grandmother bday dinner ... see the good fooddddddddddddd ...
the menu ...
the place ...
me and my sis ...
the crazy meal !!! ... all together got too many dish for me to name :X ... but its definitely for at least 6 person meal -_- ...
then after that go shopping here and there and go grandparents house ... as usual dogssssssssssssssssssss ...
found this interesting leaf ...
then next up is grandmother bday dinner ... see the good fooddddddddddddd ...
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Friday, July 09, 2010
..................
when ppl start to do things that they don't normally do, does it mean that they have move on ? ... or in the first place it already happened ... hmmm ...
Saturday, July 03, 2010
..................
i've been trying to get you out of your shell but you just don't want to leave your comfort ... thinking everything bad is going to happen and not wanting to try ... might as well go live into a fairytale ... i've been trying for ages and every time bad things happen but i didn't give up and yet you can't do it for one more time ...
you always want me to leave and now i left ... not because of other people but because of you ... you made me leave ... did you even want this ? ... now you are sad and broken because of this ... do you think its worth it ? ... if you are sad because of other ppl then enters then its still okay ... but because of this issue and you are broken ... its not worth it ...
don't make yourself suffer ... but you just want to make yourself suffer ... i hope you learn this lesson ... in life, good things like what had happen before this doesn't come that easily ... you said you want to treasure but you are not doing anything to treasure it ... you are just throwing things away because you want to be in your comfort zone, not wanting to step out ...
and for the record ... the bad side of everything that happen is all i remembered because its all virtual ... like i said before, virtual stuff can never be experienced so it can never be remembered well ... i seriously don't remember anything good that happened ... its all bad stuff that happened ... the virtual world is a death bed ... people don't remeber things that we don't go though, that we don't experience ... its a dead end in the virtual world ... get out of it ...
i've told you many things and yet you don't believe ... now you see the effect ... i learnt alot in the past already ... i'm trying to help yet you don't want to help yourself ... many things that i told you before will start to make sense one day ... i'll say again ... don't make yourself suffer ... learn from mistakes ...
you always want me to leave and now i left ... not because of other people but because of you ... you made me leave ... did you even want this ? ... now you are sad and broken because of this ... do you think its worth it ? ... if you are sad because of other ppl then enters then its still okay ... but because of this issue and you are broken ... its not worth it ...
don't make yourself suffer ... but you just want to make yourself suffer ... i hope you learn this lesson ... in life, good things like what had happen before this doesn't come that easily ... you said you want to treasure but you are not doing anything to treasure it ... you are just throwing things away because you want to be in your comfort zone, not wanting to step out ...
and for the record ... the bad side of everything that happen is all i remembered because its all virtual ... like i said before, virtual stuff can never be experienced so it can never be remembered well ... i seriously don't remember anything good that happened ... its all bad stuff that happened ... the virtual world is a death bed ... people don't remeber things that we don't go though, that we don't experience ... its a dead end in the virtual world ... get out of it ...
i've told you many things and yet you don't believe ... now you see the effect ... i learnt alot in the past already ... i'm trying to help yet you don't want to help yourself ... many things that i told you before will start to make sense one day ... i'll say again ... don't make yourself suffer ... learn from mistakes ...
Friday, July 02, 2010
..................
the world is evil ... everything is evil ... the whole fucking universe is against me ... always against me ... the universe hates me ... universe wants to hurt me ... universe wants to torture me ... universe wants to get rid of me ... fine ... go ahead universe !!! ... do all you want ... i'm just a puppet anyway ... a toy for the universe to play with ... a toy that the universe will never get bored of because i'm just so fun to be played ...
and i fucking hate it ...
and you ... i don't wish to say anything anymore ... i believe too much ... too much until i got cheated ... it wasn't going to happen at all and yet i got cheated by you ... i fucking believed you time and time again ... everytime you lied to me i told myself nvm i can trust you again since you say so ... but then you were just making use of my 'golden' mouth to get things ... heck maybe everything you said are also to cheat me !!! for you to accomplish what you wanted !!! fucking hell ... bring someone high up so that they will drop more painful ... and thats what you achieved okay !!! but now ... whatever ... i got nth more to say to you ...
oh and on a side note ... its all not a waste of time if everything was real ... its a waste of time if you are just leading me on so that you can reach your final goal ...
and i fucking hate it ...
and you ... i don't wish to say anything anymore ... i believe too much ... too much until i got cheated ... it wasn't going to happen at all and yet i got cheated by you ... i fucking believed you time and time again ... everytime you lied to me i told myself nvm i can trust you again since you say so ... but then you were just making use of my 'golden' mouth to get things ... heck maybe everything you said are also to cheat me !!! for you to accomplish what you wanted !!! fucking hell ... bring someone high up so that they will drop more painful ... and thats what you achieved okay !!! but now ... whatever ... i got nth more to say to you ...
oh and on a side note ... its all not a waste of time if everything was real ... its a waste of time if you are just leading me on so that you can reach your final goal ...
Saturday, June 12, 2010
11 june ...
ahhhhh ... lol ... very long no write anything ... so i shall write something on this day ...
yesterday we went to it show to buy stuff ... really alot pretty girls ... how good it is if they will all queue up and let me see :X ...
yesterday we went to it show to buy stuff ... really alot pretty girls ... how good it is if they will all queue up and let me see :X ...
then after that we go mount faber to cut the cake lol ... first time i cut the cake in the wild ! ... so special and exciting lol ...
then we walk down a trail IN THE DARK to harbour front ... the place is not lit at all ... so damn dark ... not even moon light ...but lucky my phone torch is good ... so the day is saved !!! ...
lol now i wun forget this day ...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
FUCK IT !!!
i don't fucking care anymore ... sadden and pissed off ... most of the things that i said are truth turn out to be lies for you ? ... fine !!! ...
never did believe in the first place ? after so many times i said it ? i'm playing you ? testing things on you ? call me childish i don't give a fuck ... no one ever knows me ... NO FUCKING ONE ... its the last straw and no more of that FUCKING species is ever getting to know me that easily any fucking more !!!
oh and an extra thing to take note ... its not your fault ... its all MINE ... i open up too much to you when i already know how much those species had hurt me again and again ... its my fault ... i should have seen it coming ... i should have prepared for it ... i should have not even fucking talk so much to those species !!! ... FUCK THOSE SPECIES !!! HURT ME ALL YOU WANT FOR I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANY FUCKING MORE !!!
never did believe in the first place ? after so many times i said it ? i'm playing you ? testing things on you ? call me childish i don't give a fuck ... no one ever knows me ... NO FUCKING ONE ... its the last straw and no more of that FUCKING species is ever getting to know me that easily any fucking more !!!
oh and an extra thing to take note ... its not your fault ... its all MINE ... i open up too much to you when i already know how much those species had hurt me again and again ... its my fault ... i should have seen it coming ... i should have prepared for it ... i should have not even fucking talk so much to those species !!! ... FUCK THOSE SPECIES !!! HURT ME ALL YOU WANT FOR I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANY FUCKING MORE !!!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
A special entry ...
no one knows, no one wonders, no one bothers but the past things that happened has always greatly affected me throughout my life until now. everyone might think its a small issue and its stupid for me to be so affected by it but to me, it matters alot. different things matter for different ppl and this is one of the thing that i hold greatly.
how much i wish for it in the past, until i am numb of it. how much i yearn for it in the past, until i am tired of it. how much i wanted it in the past, until i don't want it.
emotional pain can never be removed. scars will heal but emotional scars will never heal. no one else understands it. i am me. i think and feel differently from everyone and no one will ever feel the same as anyone. i can't let it go at all, even after so many years. its there forever ...
i don't want to say whose fault it is, nor can i say anything. i know its in the past, so make me erase my memory; forget about everything that happened. i didn't expect it to affect me so much after so many years. i can't live through it. i'm stuck at that stage forever and ever. i know its gloomy for me to say that and many people hate me for saying that but i just can't get out. i'm chained to it and weighted down by it.
i want to escape but it will come back one day. i don't want to add more misery to this pile of misery. that is why i distrust it, forgo it, prevented it. i always try to see if i can get back to the present. i keep trying and trying but i just don't see how i can get back to the present. call me stupid or idiot, i don't care.
can i ever trust it again ? i don't know. i really don't know ...
i'm tired and sick of it. i just want to die off from it. what should i do ...
i know only i can help myself but i don't see how i can help myself when i am the one who contain the past. only way is to trust it again but it will be hard, taking over mount everest.
i'm sorry i can't accept the present because the past already cast a shadow of doom over me. a shadow that blocks my present and blinds the future path.
time doesn't heal. at least not for this. maybe i should give up and stop thinking about it. its not worth anymore ...
happiness is just a mask for me. sadness is a soul that i have ...
how much i wish for it in the past, until i am numb of it. how much i yearn for it in the past, until i am tired of it. how much i wanted it in the past, until i don't want it.
emotional pain can never be removed. scars will heal but emotional scars will never heal. no one else understands it. i am me. i think and feel differently from everyone and no one will ever feel the same as anyone. i can't let it go at all, even after so many years. its there forever ...
i don't want to say whose fault it is, nor can i say anything. i know its in the past, so make me erase my memory; forget about everything that happened. i didn't expect it to affect me so much after so many years. i can't live through it. i'm stuck at that stage forever and ever. i know its gloomy for me to say that and many people hate me for saying that but i just can't get out. i'm chained to it and weighted down by it.
i want to escape but it will come back one day. i don't want to add more misery to this pile of misery. that is why i distrust it, forgo it, prevented it. i always try to see if i can get back to the present. i keep trying and trying but i just don't see how i can get back to the present. call me stupid or idiot, i don't care.
can i ever trust it again ? i don't know. i really don't know ...
i'm tired and sick of it. i just want to die off from it. what should i do ...
i know only i can help myself but i don't see how i can help myself when i am the one who contain the past. only way is to trust it again but it will be hard, taking over mount everest.
i'm sorry i can't accept the present because the past already cast a shadow of doom over me. a shadow that blocks my present and blinds the future path.
time doesn't heal. at least not for this. maybe i should give up and stop thinking about it. its not worth anymore ...
happiness is just a mask for me. sadness is a soul that i have ...
Monday, March 29, 2010
stuff on 2009 ...
article from today's straits times ...
on avg, each sgrean ate in 2009
vege - 83.8kg ---- 1.14m per day per country
fruits - 69.1kg ---- 946k per day per country
chicken - 31.6kg ---- 432k
fish - 24.6kg ---- 337k
pork - 19.1kg ---- 261k
hen eggs- 18kg / 300 eggs ---- 246k/4.1m eggs !!!
Daily ridership
total for bus and MRT - 5037000 pple --- lets say avg fare is 85 cents so per day --- $4.281m and per year --- $15.62b ...
No of houses ---- 1133385 ... % of household having cars --- 38% ... and that is a total of 430k cars ...
next is bus fare ... avg is 67cents in 2009 ... now thats wierd ... if my memory serve me correct, the fare in 2009 is 63 cents cheapest for adults and most expensive is $1+ ... so how in any sense can 69 cents be achieved ? ... maybe with the inclusion of child and senior citizen but 69 cents is still too low ... if that is the average, lets say 4 trips a day $2.76 for 6 days $16.56 and for 1 mth $66.24 and 1 year $794.88 ... go compare ...
on avg, each sgrean ate in 2009
vege - 83.8kg ---- 1.14m per day per country
fruits - 69.1kg ---- 946k per day per country
chicken - 31.6kg ---- 432k
fish - 24.6kg ---- 337k
pork - 19.1kg ---- 261k
hen eggs- 18kg / 300 eggs ---- 246k/4.1m eggs !!!
Daily ridership
total for bus and MRT - 5037000 pple --- lets say avg fare is 85 cents so per day --- $4.281m and per year --- $15.62b ...
No of houses ---- 1133385 ... % of household having cars --- 38% ... and that is a total of 430k cars ...
next is bus fare ... avg is 67cents in 2009 ... now thats wierd ... if my memory serve me correct, the fare in 2009 is 63 cents cheapest for adults and most expensive is $1+ ... so how in any sense can 69 cents be achieved ? ... maybe with the inclusion of child and senior citizen but 69 cents is still too low ... if that is the average, lets say 4 trips a day $2.76 for 6 days $16.56 and for 1 mth $66.24 and 1 year $794.88 ... go compare ...
Friday, March 26, 2010
something ...
something that i saw ...
A philosophy professor stood before his class and wordlessly picked up a large empty jar and started to fill it with rocks 2" in size. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They all agree that it was.
So the professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar and shook the jar lighty. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full They agreed it was.
Next, the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course the sand filled up the rest of the space. "Now," the professor said, "I want you to recognise that this s your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be devastated. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. THe sand is everything else. The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first, there will be no room for the pebbles or the rocks. Same goes for your life. If you spend all the energy and the time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children.Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand"
A philosophy professor stood before his class and wordlessly picked up a large empty jar and started to fill it with rocks 2" in size. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They all agree that it was.
So the professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar and shook the jar lighty. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full They agreed it was.
Next, the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course the sand filled up the rest of the space. "Now," the professor said, "I want you to recognise that this s your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be devastated. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. THe sand is everything else. The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first, there will be no room for the pebbles or the rocks. Same goes for your life. If you spend all the energy and the time on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children.Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand"
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
words of wisdom no. 1
Bernard's daily words of wisdom no. 1 : live as yourself, not as others ...
this basically means to live to do what you want, who you want to be, what you want to be, things you want to do etc ... and not live the way others want you to live ... don't be a puppet and let others control you ...
how to do it is to be free from others thoughts and actions ... only by really thinking through what others are doing and saying and then taking your own action will really let you live as yourself ... of course ppl can influence you but its up to you to decide how much they will influence you ... so don't let others determine how you will live ...
this basically means to live to do what you want, who you want to be, what you want to be, things you want to do etc ... and not live the way others want you to live ... don't be a puppet and let others control you ...
how to do it is to be free from others thoughts and actions ... only by really thinking through what others are doing and saying and then taking your own action will really let you live as yourself ... of course ppl can influence you but its up to you to decide how much they will influence you ... so don't let others determine how you will live ...
Monday, February 22, 2010
nth to say ...
wow long time since i wrote something here ... quite busy nowadays ... alot things to do bah ... oh well ... life is meant to be busy for now ...
Sunday, February 14, 2010
2010 CNY ...
yes this is my first ever CNY eve in singapore !!! ... so excited sia ... every year my family and i will be in malacca for eve and half the 1st day of cny bah ... but this year finally in sg ... yesterday went to jurong west to see how does day before eve looks like ... really a different sight ...
but !!! ... cny in sg seems boring -_- ... maybe cause too long holiday ... but okay ... i should spend my time studying ... but i'm killing too much zombies !!! ... oh well ... how to be in a mood to study during cny ? ...
but !!! ... cny in sg seems boring -_- ... maybe cause too long holiday ... but okay ... i should spend my time studying ... but i'm killing too much zombies !!! ... oh well ... how to be in a mood to study during cny ? ...
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
the meaning of interesting ...
hmm okay now there is finally a good explaination to how i can be so interested in someone and yet not like that person ... thx to yg for telling me things about human psychology ...
i finally know the true answer to how i can be so interested in someone ... because unlike poles attract and that is what happened ... because people is so unlike from me until i feel that that person is interesting ... its like what i always say from the beginning ... i just want to know that person ... wouldn't everyone be interested to know something that is interesting ? ... its the same for me ... if you never seen someone or something before, it would arouse your interest rite ... same concept ...
so in conclusion its not like ... its only interesting ...
i finally know the true answer to how i can be so interested in someone ... because unlike poles attract and that is what happened ... because people is so unlike from me until i feel that that person is interesting ... its like what i always say from the beginning ... i just want to know that person ... wouldn't everyone be interested to know something that is interesting ? ... its the same for me ... if you never seen someone or something before, it would arouse your interest rite ... same concept ...
so in conclusion its not like ... its only interesting ...
Sunday, February 07, 2010
one irritating fact ...
hmmm ... i hate it when you want to talk to someone but dunno what to say ... its like you want to go somewhere but you dunno where to go ... so irritating ... give up on myself zzzzzz ... maybe my life is really that boring until i got nth to say ... i should just bang the wall ...
Monday, February 01, 2010
tries ...
ahhh i've been thinking just now and of course in the past that maybe after all i don't need to try ? ... but then if i don't try then i won't know and i won't learn ... its like trying to solve an equation ... no matter what formula i try, i don't see the light ... no matter how many times i try to examine the equation, i just can't find a way to solve it ... no matter how many times i throw the equation away, i will pick it back and keep trying ... how sad ...
how i really hope i can solve the equation ... i can only ask ppl how do it but they can't help me do it ... and the bad part is i must be the one who will initiate to solve the equation ... obviously an equation won't start asking you to solve it rite ... keep trying or stop trying ? ... i forsee that there is no outcome for both scenarios .........................................................
how i really hope i can solve the equation ... i can only ask ppl how do it but they can't help me do it ... and the bad part is i must be the one who will initiate to solve the equation ... obviously an equation won't start asking you to solve it rite ... keep trying or stop trying ? ... i forsee that there is no outcome for both scenarios .........................................................
Sunday, January 31, 2010
busy busy ...
this sem really alot things to do >< ... physics lab report ... chem proforma ... 1 tutorial which need to be handed up every friday ... then still got 3 more other tutorials ... ahhh ... too many things -_- ... thats the outcome of 21 AU ... but oh well ... good to be busy ... need to spend more time on tutorials and less time on castle age !!! ...
Sunday, January 24, 2010
a wedding dinner ...
just went to my cousin wedding yesterday at malacca ... eventhough i dunno him well ... so at first i heard the wedding is held at some 'hui guan' ... which is like some clan hall in simple terms ... then i'm thinking "wah should be nth grand bah ..." so we went there and turn out really is a hui guan ... but i was pleasantly surprised ... yes its a real hui guan but the decoration inside is really nice! ... of course there are no pics because i'm simply too lazy to take pics ... but there will be pics ... from my uncle's camera ... so anyway back to story ... let me describe it to the best of my crappy language ...
there's a BIG circular pic of the couple at the back of the stage ... seriously big ... then its surrounded by balloons, forming a heart shape but the heart doesn't merge together at the bottom tip ... the balloon ends at somewhere else ... that is something new that i never seen before ... so throughout the whole wedding, there's non stop entertainment ... this 3 guys 1 girl keep singing many many songs ... 1 keyboard, 1 guitar, 1 vocal ... so they literally sing the whole night ... many songs that i'm sooooo familiar with ... then at the stage, there's 2 fire spitting thingy ... keep flaming ... can feel the heat -_- ... and the best part is still got those small fireworks that comes out from the stage ... if you play l4d2, its the same like concert map that fireworks ... i'm impressed ... never seen it in sg weddings before ... of course you can't miss out the videos from the morning ... nicely done ... and there are soo many pics ... some pics really very nice ... the effects are masterfully done ... and one part of the wedding i couldn't believe my eyes ... at the start of the wedding, before the couple walked in, mickey and minnie mouse appeared -_- ... dead serious ... i'm thinking "WTF" ... who in the right mind would hire mickey and minnie for a wedding !!! ... but i can say they made it quite romantic ... nicely done ...
oh and now comes the food part ... wah ... the food is nice man ... cold dish (the sushi is nice ... bah ... everything is nice ...) ... shark fin (i ate so many bowls cause got extra -_- ... freaking 5 bowls lah ... and there's nth nice about the fins SO PLS STOP KILLING SHARKS FOR IT !!!) ... then still got roasted pork ... chicken ... mushroom with vege ... cereal prawns (damn nice ...) ... forgot if there is anything else and the dessert ice cream ... the weird thing is no rice or mee one ... the food is good ...
the whole wedding is really wonderful ... i can say its much better than sg wedding dinner ... the food, ambience ... its more like a wedding dinner ... you save the money on the venue and you can use the money to get other extra stuff !!! ... very good idea i must admit ...
looking at the wedding, i sure feel something missing in me ... oh well ...
there's a BIG circular pic of the couple at the back of the stage ... seriously big ... then its surrounded by balloons, forming a heart shape but the heart doesn't merge together at the bottom tip ... the balloon ends at somewhere else ... that is something new that i never seen before ... so throughout the whole wedding, there's non stop entertainment ... this 3 guys 1 girl keep singing many many songs ... 1 keyboard, 1 guitar, 1 vocal ... so they literally sing the whole night ... many songs that i'm sooooo familiar with ... then at the stage, there's 2 fire spitting thingy ... keep flaming ... can feel the heat -_- ... and the best part is still got those small fireworks that comes out from the stage ... if you play l4d2, its the same like concert map that fireworks ... i'm impressed ... never seen it in sg weddings before ... of course you can't miss out the videos from the morning ... nicely done ... and there are soo many pics ... some pics really very nice ... the effects are masterfully done ... and one part of the wedding i couldn't believe my eyes ... at the start of the wedding, before the couple walked in, mickey and minnie mouse appeared -_- ... dead serious ... i'm thinking "WTF" ... who in the right mind would hire mickey and minnie for a wedding !!! ... but i can say they made it quite romantic ... nicely done ...
oh and now comes the food part ... wah ... the food is nice man ... cold dish (the sushi is nice ... bah ... everything is nice ...) ... shark fin (i ate so many bowls cause got extra -_- ... freaking 5 bowls lah ... and there's nth nice about the fins SO PLS STOP KILLING SHARKS FOR IT !!!) ... then still got roasted pork ... chicken ... mushroom with vege ... cereal prawns (damn nice ...) ... forgot if there is anything else and the dessert ice cream ... the weird thing is no rice or mee one ... the food is good ...
the whole wedding is really wonderful ... i can say its much better than sg wedding dinner ... the food, ambience ... its more like a wedding dinner ... you save the money on the venue and you can use the money to get other extra stuff !!! ... very good idea i must admit ...
looking at the wedding, i sure feel something missing in me ... oh well ...
Friday, January 22, 2010
now ...
the situation now cannot be resolved ... and i can't turn back time to fix things ... it has turn into something which i can't control or do anything about ... so i can only leave it as it is ... no one is to be blame but myself ... because of my inability to understand and communicate better ... and of course its due to the things i say, which is deteriorating day by day, i just couldn't say normal stuff anymore ... but to me, i don't think i'm giving out any wrong ideas ... maybe its how they inteprete ... i dunno ... and i will NEVER know ... no one ever tell me ...
if you ask if i regret ? ... i can say yes and no ... because i got no idea where i went wrong ... i seriously thought everything was going well ... but it turns out whatever that happened 1 mth plus ago is just my misconception ... maybe i really can't learn ... maybe i'll always be stuck there ... maybe i'll never be able to climb out again ...
if you ask if i regret ? ... i can say yes and no ... because i got no idea where i went wrong ... i seriously thought everything was going well ... but it turns out whatever that happened 1 mth plus ago is just my misconception ... maybe i really can't learn ... maybe i'll always be stuck there ... maybe i'll never be able to climb out again ...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Your actions lies in you ...
i'm gonna spend some time and write this ... i taught myself this logic because i don't want other people to affect my actions ... whenever someone makes you angry, do you get pissed ? ... if you do, it means you are not controlling your own actions ... you have a choice to choose to get pissed or just forget it ... its up to other ppl to do what they want ... we can't stop them nor change them ... what we can do is control how we react ...
for example, a guy walk and drop into the drain ... can you control that ? ... no you can't ... we can't control his actions ... how the hell we know why he drop into the drain ... but we can choose to either laugh or help him ... this is our action, the thing that we can control ...
of course it doesn't only apply to getting angry ... it can apply everywhere ... if ppl scold you and you think its illogical then dun bother listening to them! ... their mouth = their problem ... my action = my problem ... at most if the person is really too much and you think it will affect his development then you can tell him his mistakes or he should not do that blah blah blah ... whether he listen or not is up to him ... we did our part as we can't force an idea or theory into someone ...
many things is way beyond our control ... but we can control ourselves ... don't let other ppl affect your actions ... that is what happened to me ... i shouldn't let the choices ppl make affect my actions ... i remembered this thing and that is why i'm back to normal now ...
oh and if you think ppl scolding you is bad cause you lose pride ... then how much is pride worth ? ... there was once my recruit told me "sergeant you shouldn't just let him anyhow scold you (in a fun way) " then i tell him ... "him scolding me doesn't affect me ... i lose nothing ... and the things he say won't change the way my life is now ..." then he said "but its pride" and i replied "how much is pride worth ? nothing ..." he said "but ......." he couldn't find the words to continue ...
come to think of it now ... i must add on some stuff ... the things people say won't affect my life rite ... if that guy say "go and die" ... would you die immediately ??? ... no ... "go eat shit" ... would you do that ??? ... no ... but if "can you do this to improve blah blah blah" of course you must take into consideration what he/she said and think through before doing it ... following blinding is just like scolding ppl ... not thinking ...
so i don't see any reason why must we be angry if someone scold you ...
so the next time someone say something bad about you, think through first ... if it is true, you will know it and change for the better ... but if its not true then ignore it ... there is no need to say anything else to that person ... so remember this ... others don't determine who you are, only you determine who you are ...
for example, a guy walk and drop into the drain ... can you control that ? ... no you can't ... we can't control his actions ... how the hell we know why he drop into the drain ... but we can choose to either laugh or help him ... this is our action, the thing that we can control ...
of course it doesn't only apply to getting angry ... it can apply everywhere ... if ppl scold you and you think its illogical then dun bother listening to them! ... their mouth = their problem ... my action = my problem ... at most if the person is really too much and you think it will affect his development then you can tell him his mistakes or he should not do that blah blah blah ... whether he listen or not is up to him ... we did our part as we can't force an idea or theory into someone ...
many things is way beyond our control ... but we can control ourselves ... don't let other ppl affect your actions ... that is what happened to me ... i shouldn't let the choices ppl make affect my actions ... i remembered this thing and that is why i'm back to normal now ...
oh and if you think ppl scolding you is bad cause you lose pride ... then how much is pride worth ? ... there was once my recruit told me "sergeant you shouldn't just let him anyhow scold you (in a fun way) " then i tell him ... "him scolding me doesn't affect me ... i lose nothing ... and the things he say won't change the way my life is now ..." then he said "but its pride" and i replied "how much is pride worth ? nothing ..." he said "but ......." he couldn't find the words to continue ...
come to think of it now ... i must add on some stuff ... the things people say won't affect my life rite ... if that guy say "go and die" ... would you die immediately ??? ... no ... "go eat shit" ... would you do that ??? ... no ... but if "can you do this to improve blah blah blah" of course you must take into consideration what he/she said and think through before doing it ... following blinding is just like scolding ppl ... not thinking ...
so i don't see any reason why must we be angry if someone scold you ...
so the next time someone say something bad about you, think through first ... if it is true, you will know it and change for the better ... but if its not true then ignore it ... there is no need to say anything else to that person ... so remember this ... others don't determine who you are, only you determine who you are ...
hmmm ...
i'm back to normal now ... forgot about my own theory where what ppl do is what they do and i can't do anything about it ... but how i react to how it affects me is what i can control ... so of course this time i managed to fail myself ... but at least it reminds me of my theory again ...
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
reason ...
no need for any reason to know why ... kind of obvious actually ... so i don't need to say the reason ... i'll only say its an accumulation of things ...
what if the things that happened never ever existed ? ...
what if what you thought and saw never ever existed ? ...
what if you keep failing but the reason never ever existed ? ...
what if the things that happened never ever existed ? ...
what if what you thought and saw never ever existed ? ...
what if you keep failing but the reason never ever existed ? ...
Monday, January 18, 2010
something is wrong ...
yes something is terribly wrong !!! ... and the worst part is i got completely no idea what is wrong !!! ... maybe its something that i typed somewhere ? or anywhere ? ... maybe today is not the day ? ... maybe i'm really bad at it ? ...
so many maybes and i got absolutely no clue ... i hope there are lots of clues ... at least it'll be easier for me to figure out ... but now i'm really suspecting i'm really not able to do it ... OR they are meant to be this way towards me ...
but there's always the wrong idea floating around ... HUMANS THINK !!! ... its so tiring to keep figuring out and yet not knowing any ... one day i'm sure i will stop and when that day comes it will be the start of something new and the end of the known and usual future ...
so tiring ... give me a break ... tell me something ... whatever it may help me figure out ... ANYTHING ...
so many maybes and i got absolutely no clue ... i hope there are lots of clues ... at least it'll be easier for me to figure out ... but now i'm really suspecting i'm really not able to do it ... OR they are meant to be this way towards me ...
but there's always the wrong idea floating around ... HUMANS THINK !!! ... its so tiring to keep figuring out and yet not knowing any ... one day i'm sure i will stop and when that day comes it will be the start of something new and the end of the known and usual future ...
so tiring ... give me a break ... tell me something ... whatever it may help me figure out ... ANYTHING ...
Sunday, January 17, 2010
unbelievable ...
' We are two student researchers from blah blah blah, and we are carrying out a research project, as part of our (FYP) thesis, to explore the development of romantic relationships in massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPGs).
Currently, we are looking for MapleStory players for our online interviews. During these interviews, we will ask you about your experiences in your romantic relationships formed in MapleStory. All you need to do is to be present on your instant messenger at the date and time arranged. '
WOW ... research on romantic relationship in mmorpg O.o ... now thats something new ... oh and you will be paid ... i can't believe this is happening -_- ... but maple is ... crap lol ... there are lots of relationship that happen through online stuff but why maple ??? ... i would suggest they take habbo instead ... more likely to find more data ... maple you go in whack non stop ... where got time to go find relationship ... crappy game which i don't play ... next time then i'll talk about online relationship ...
today go mind cafe play ... learn new games ... quite fun ... but we play too much then forgot to enjoy the free flow drinks ... damn ... maybe next time can go there again ... play even more games ... not bad i would say ...
Currently, we are looking for MapleStory players for our online interviews. During these interviews, we will ask you about your experiences in your romantic relationships formed in MapleStory. All you need to do is to be present on your instant messenger at the date and time arranged. '
WOW ... research on romantic relationship in mmorpg O.o ... now thats something new ... oh and you will be paid ... i can't believe this is happening -_- ... but maple is ... crap lol ... there are lots of relationship that happen through online stuff but why maple ??? ... i would suggest they take habbo instead ... more likely to find more data ... maple you go in whack non stop ... where got time to go find relationship ... crappy game which i don't play ... next time then i'll talk about online relationship ...
today go mind cafe play ... learn new games ... quite fun ... but we play too much then forgot to enjoy the free flow drinks ... damn ... maybe next time can go there again ... play even more games ... not bad i would say ...
Saturday, January 16, 2010
pulau ubin ...
yes !!! finally went to pulau ubin to cycle ... after waiting sooooooooooo long ... always wanted to go there and cycle since dunno how long ago ... we went on 2nd day of 2010 ... its quite fun ... go up those slopes and speeding down those slopes ... damn fun ... love the speed woooo ... boat ride $2.50 ... bicycle $6 ... eventhough the bike is kind of crap but we are good enough to not need anything good :) ... really love the slopes ... one day must go back again ... hahahahaha ...
at the ferry terminal ...
in the bumboat ...
we are special ^^ ...
entrance of pulau ubin ...
how the shops look like ...
i like the sign ... so damn cute ...
look at the slope !!! ...
observatory tower ...
my ex second home !!! ... pulau tekong ...
locate the creature in the next 3 pics ...
lone tree ...
the house ...
description of the house ...
looks like ....................
like someone organs ...
looks cool ...
its cold there ... trust me ...
oks this an ant or me millipede ? ... seem to have an ant head and millipede body ... any ideas ? ...
solar panel in ubin ??? ...
the pic after the journey ...
back in bumboat ...
overall quite fun i can say ... go look around nature ... see many things ... but very shag !!! ... the upslopes really can kill ... maybe i'm getting weaker lol ...
at the ferry terminal ...
in the bumboat ...
we are special ^^ ...
entrance of pulau ubin ...
how the shops look like ...
i like the sign ... so damn cute ...
look at the slope !!! ...
observatory tower ...
my ex second home !!! ... pulau tekong ...
locate the creature in the next 3 pics ...
lone tree ...
the house ...
description of the house ...
looks like ....................
like someone organs ...
looks cool ...
its cold there ... trust me ...
oks this an ant or me millipede ? ... seem to have an ant head and millipede body ... any ideas ? ...
solar panel in ubin ??? ...
the pic after the journey ...
back in bumboat ...
overall quite fun i can say ... go look around nature ... see many things ... but very shag !!! ... the upslopes really can kill ... maybe i'm getting weaker lol ...
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