okay i'm feeling miserable and disappointed in myself ... why ? ... first of all ... i didn't get into airforce ... so i'm kind of sad ... but then no choice suck thumb ... then 2ndly ... i have to do guard duty tmr so later booking in ... even more emo ... why i do guard duty ? ... cause thx to my buddy ... cause he forget bring thing so the sgt say i no ensuse ... okay lor wtf ... suck thumb ... so buddy you owe me not one but two !!! ... how come 2 ? ... cause two times lor ... first time okay i nth to say really no remind him ... 2nd time i remind him ... he say its in its in ... turn out not in ... so everyone i advise you to physically check to save your own ass ... but then again ... suck thumb ... no choice ... he's my buddy also cannot blame him ... so suck thumb ... so after these 2 rite ... i'm feeling soo damn emo ... so i decided to go out to take a walk ... walk at vivo there ... turn out it makes me miserable and disappointed ...
so i stop at outram and go NEL ... then i see a girl ... yes its always girls that make me miserable and disappointed ... so first glance hey not bad ... then go in train she stand opposite me ... plently of time to see her ... she wore a black shirt with i dunno what type of cutting and a dunno what colour demin skirt and she carry a bag which i also dunno what colour and long hair using a Nokia phone i think that can be slided ... there are weird colours that can't be described nowadays ... see and see and see and see even more and continue seeing until i'm like hey this girl is really good ... its what happen like the ice skating girl only its see for a short period of time ... so reach harbour front and we get out and poof off she goes to meet her friend ... so i'm in this mood where i'm thinking wtf i'm doing ... again and again ... i dun dare to approach girls ... this is the disappointed part ... so farking disappointed in myself ... then later while trying to find her in vivo i go best and i see another girl ... another disappointed ... i keep hanging around the printer area and see and see and keep seeing and see until cannot stop seeing until she's gone and poof ... she's wearing a white shirt with dunno what colour hot pants ... again and again and again ... so all in all ... so far as i can remember ... i'm disappointed in myself for 4 times already ... one is a girl at bugis that looks like my idol aya ueto ... 2nd one is the ice skating girl ... 3rd and 4th i just mention ... disappointing ... i can't approach girls ... sad ... very disappointing ... why can't approach ... cause i no guts ... i dun dare to ... i dun even dare to talk to them ... what am i doing ... why why why ... tell me why ... maybe in my whole life i'll never succeed in approaching a girl ...
so now ... why miserable ? ... cause i'm starting to think like ahbao ... "where's my girlfriend" ... i really think its cause of NS ... you see alot ppl talking on the phone with their girlfriend every night then you start to wonder ... what am i missing out ... something in your life is missing ... the element of a other party ... its not present in our life ... then you see couples on the street you think again ... what is happening ... something is missing again ... a love that was supposed to be there but not there ... its ... lets say still not here ... we are here at this point of time where our primal urges start to kick in ... its what i'm lacking now ... so my primal urges is wanting something ... something some ppl have and hard to get ... thats why i feel miserable ... and of course its cause IF i maybe approach a girl and hey it works out ... so at least i wun feel that miserable rite ... at least i know i did managed to approach a girl and it worked ... maybe it can go further ... but whatever ... its not happening ... NS kills us all ... okay ... not us but me only ... i'm think i'm going insane soon ... farkkkkkkkkkkk ... 10pm meet friend to book in ... bb ...
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